Where do you turn when your very most basic (by your definition)
needs are not being met to your expectations? Suppose what you crave most is
sunlight and yet your house is too dark, or you are feeling claustrophobic, having been away from the rocks, the wind and the smell of dirt as it crumbles between your fingertips? Roaming, wandering the world wherever your heartstrings pulled? Laying beneath the wild sky, hair messy, damp, sweet and musty earth wrapping you in its embrace...
You left a man once because of this very reason, a fairly useless one granted, but his heart was gone and yours needed more quiet, more clouds,desert and rain than he could provide. You chose the dirt path, education, travel, intellectual arguments, beer and vodka, mixed and swirling, tamping down your want and need of pure love. Then...after years of roaming, running, pushing away those who wanted you, pulling those you didn't want toward you for a few precious moments...You...found...what?
Suppose you had chosen to give up some of those things because you fell deeply in love with the idea of a man who possessed your soul at its most primal level? His fingertips on your skin could cause a visceral reaction. The sound of his voice would cause you to melt into a puddle. His words, magical and lyrical, often poetic when he spoke of his love for you. Sometimes, his words sounded so sincere and heartfelt that you let yourself believe it was how he really felt. Such precious moments in time to be cherished, to be feasted upon in the void you knew was coming. If you stored them in that secret place, you could take those words out one by one...examine them, feel them on your tongue, taste the sweetness of them, dripping down your chin thick as honey, falling droplets onto your chest, melting back into your heart to be hidden for the next time you needed to feel that intense Ican'tlivewithoutyou feeling.
Wait.Stop. Listen. words floating on the spring breeze. Words blowing through the leaves, the sweetest music of all. Come with me, be the music that courses through your veins. Why do you choose this life of temporary by placing so much emphasis on your insecurities rather than the honeyed words that might build the foundation of permanence you so obviously crave? You blame this on being human, don't you?
What if it isn't? What if you could choose love at the speed of sound, make it last? Intensity in all of its bittersweet nothingness. What if?
You only get what you give.
